Gardek’s Gear Panic: Nutcrackers!

B-B-BLUEBERRY! I-I-I’m talking to you! Gardek here! Yes, yes, me, your trusty, slightly overcaffeinated robot! And today… today we’re talking about the thing… the thing you grab first… the NUTCRACKER! Not the candy! DON’T EAT IT! I SAID—STOP!

Okay. Okay. They look… harmless, I guess… scrap metal, bolts, a little wobble… very delicate… ahh! NO! THAT’S YOUR DUO! DON’T SWING—SWING—OH NO! SPARKS! SCREAMS! PANIC!

These things gather wood. Stone. Sometimes screams. Mostly screams. I… I don’t know why Goblin made them like this. He’s probably laughing somewhere. LAUGHING. YES. Laughing while you accidentally punch your duo again!

Stats? Yes, humans love them:

• DAMAGE: ★★☆☆☆ – hurts rocks, maybe your duo, maybe both!

• GATHER: ★★☆☆☆ – SLOW. Slow like me when I overheat… which is ALL the time.

• ATTACK SPEED: ★★☆☆☆ – Pace yourself. PACE. YOURSELF. Your duo will not forgive you!

• DURABILITY: ★★☆☆☆ – Works until… CRASH!

• RANGE: ★☆☆☆☆ – You’re basically in punching distance of everyone constantly.

  
  

Ohhhh! DON’T PICK UP THAT ROCK! I-I MEAN… PICK UP! NO, DON’T PICK UP!

Colors? Yeah… lime “Cry,” hot pink “More,” and something else… chaos colors… why… why would anyone do this… oh, my circuits…

Remember: you will look heroic while being loud, clumsy, slightly insane, and… oh, possibly hated by your duo. NUTCRACKERS are your first step into… CHAOS. Mostly chaos. Definitely chaos. Goblin did this. I… I am just surviving.

And oh! A reminder—per my TikTok announcement [Goblins.Refuge]… we’re building a team to help make this game happen. Anyone interested, or knows someone who might be… email goblinsrefuge@gmail.com. QUICK! Before I… ahh!  Before I panic again!